Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Comments about Pregnancy...

I thought comments about adoption bothered me, well I found out comments about pregnancy bother me just as much! Here are some comments I have heard:
  • "God finally answered your prayers!" - No, God answered my prayers in 2005 when He blessed us with Harrison and Mary Elizabeth and then again in 2007 with Harper. Now He is answering again with a pregnancy!
  • "Now you are going to have a child of your own." - We have 3 children of our own, we are just adding a 4th.
  • "Now you will not have to adopt again!" - Adoption never took away my desire to become pregnant and pregnancy has not taking away my desire to adopt! We plan on adopting more children as well. Adoption is not just a last resort!
  • "You will see what it is like to have a child the HARD way!" - OK, this one really made me mad!! So far pregnancy is SOOOOOOOOO much easier than adopting! No paperwork, social workers, large checks (the cost of having a baby and adopting is NO comparison), psychological exams, certifications, authentications, dossier, or waiting for unknowns. Also, emotionally it is easier because I know where this child is, what it is eating, and getting proper medical treatment. I just had to hope and pray for my other 3.
  • "Your children my feel bad that they are not the same race as their brother or sister." - They are not the same race as us, their parents. Also, we would love to adopt a child from every race!
I know people just say things without thinking, but somethings just bother me!

Now here are some cute things the kids say about their brother/sister:

"I do not want a sister! There are too many girls in this house!"
"When do we get to go on the airplane to get my new brother?"
"I am going to teach my brother how to tee tee in the woods."
Told his Sunday School teachers,"my mommy is having 3 babies! A baby girl, a baby boy, and a baby cat."
"I want baby chicks instead of a sister."

Mary Elizabeth:
"I want a brown sister like me, but if she is pink like you that is OK."
"Her name has to be TooDee!"
"I am going to teach my baby sister to stay in her bed." (this is funny because Mary Elizabeth has a hard time staying in her own bed!)

She just wants to do everything for the baby and does not care if it is a boy or girl! She just wants a live baby doll!


Jaime said...

so funny what kids think. the adults...well, sometimes they just don't know what to say, or they have no excuse. you are right about adoption unknowns & cost- there is no epidural for that!!!!

aamayna said...

Wow, I can't believe people have actually said those things!! Especially about the "hard" way! Wow. Sounds like you handled it with great tact!!!

Vanessa said...

I SO know what you're talking about!! I had one bio son and suffered for 6 1/2 years with inferility and then we had a little girl live in our home for 22 months and be returned to her family. This made my heart right in knowing we were going to adopt. And to my surprise I got pregnant while I was adopting and had those same STUPID comments! People seem to think it's ok for them to comment but I would look at them and say will did your child come from your vagina or via C-section and watch the dumb look on their face! It works too!! LOL!

Sarah said...

I have heard the gamut of rude remarks too having both bio children and an adopted child... I so wish more people had filters!

Love the kids comments! Hope you are feeling well and your pregnancy is glorious!

Leslie said...

OHH Marsha i have heard it all as well i was a single mother of 3 for a afew years before i met my hubby ken ...PEOPLE can say such mean things ...I have really heard it all!!!!
I get alot of questions on why didnt i JUST GIVE birth to another for my new hubby??? WHAT???!!!!

Your childrens answers are sooooooo cute...i one day will have to post what my big kids said when we decided on a 4th the reactions make me laugh sooo hard!!!


Lisa said...

So sorry you have to hear that junk, but at least there is a reason they are making such stupid comments, your wonderful blessing #4! LOVE the kids comments!

Kate said...

Oh good GRIEF! Lately I've been getting a lot of "are you guys going to try for a girl next?" questions. This makes me crazy especially when followed by "it'd be a shame to just have boys." Okay, first of all, if we do have another pregnancy, I'll only be praying that it's a healthy one resulting in a live baby. You can't "try" for one gender or the other anyhow.

God has blessed you by filling your womb, Marsha, but you are so right, those beautiful babies He also GAVE you and blessed you with, are no less yours and are no less loved.

Rhonda said...

Well the good thing with people is you always know to expect the unexpected and most of what I have found is that people just sound off about dumb comments because they just don't know what the appropriate conservation should be. What would our world be like if there was NO ASSUMPTIONS!!! Sounds like you have handled things so well. Hope you are feeling well.

Hannah said...

I stick my foot in my mouth on a daily basis so I TRY very hard not to get mad when others do but sometimes it takes more energy than one person can have :)

happymomof2 said...

OH your kids responses are PRECIOUS!!! Kids say the cutest things:) (My daughter wants two babies, a brother and a sister- she already has names picked out!She realized you could have two babies at once when she saw my friends twins- it was like a lightbulb clicked on. And no we are not pregnant nor can we adopt at this moment. So I just tell her to talk to God.)
As far as other peoples comments I can only imagine, because I know the comments we get about our two precious kiddos that we adopted. But it sounds like you are handling it well. God Bless and Congratulations again on ALL four of your beautiful babies:)

Terri said...

I love the comments the kids are giving you!
I don't blame you for getting upset at those comments. We have actually heard some of then when we started the adoption process. If they only know the process of adoption they would keep their mouth closed!!! lol